Addendum: What strikes me as a huge load off my mind ... Today the school administration has spoken to me about the upcoming presentation, because obviously I'm still in the choreography Schwierigkeiteh and asked me if I would like for ever that occur there with. I just find it something of super fair and absolutely mega correct that you ask me if I ever will, and gave me leave so that the freedom to decide where I can determine about myself and not just with print, I have there now because of how Step it the teacher would have.
I answered openly and honestly, I would NOT do the choreography because I now sometimes just not dominant and the closer the deadline, the more panic approached with the increasing pressure built up in me and weighed more pressure on me to be able to break the now necessarily come out, the more learning blocks and I finally got a little less accessible to the series.
This incident has made me aware of something that was previously not drop me or just was not aware ... I had with this step-story more and more a must-must-must! " had before me that with each "must!" a growing pressure to build, even more pressure, much more pressure .... and with each pressure increased but also barriers to learning and understanding may, in turn, more pressure and panic, and "must!" triggered. Basically, instead of "Must-must-be" or "push-push pressure" - you could have just as well have "Block Block Block!"
It was really a circle was somehow, which I turned.
And the moment where the head teacher had heard my answer, and their notes lying in front of him looked at, and I followed her gaze just as short on it, threw me was a huge rummms! ! a menhir from the heart. For me they had taken it out of the list, the question of whether I want the performance ever was purely pro forma. She nodded and turned to everyone and spoke for all of us a sermon which really deeply impressed. She said she would hunt no students on the stage if they are not even ready now. And if they send students to the stage, then they are also really, really ready and she is a headmistress even it absolutely safe and it personally convinced that provide their students that and that can and hammer out and be comfortable in it in what they . do With these and some other words she has built the semester really clear, because then they practiced - without me - and I could see the play properly, as they all once a good deal have grown a lot more energy and momentum with the dance have tricked and I I was really happy for her! to
From that moment, I felt inside when I had become easier with a single stroke by 20 kg. This thing took me over the weeks so inwardly be together more and more spasm, I have both internally and also externally are getting stiff and I totally blocked with the understanding and learning that I this inner tension noticed but really, as this load with the Liberation from me runterplumpste normal. I almost cried - but most of relief! I happened to be more dependent not ready ....
course I am on the other side do not pride myself on, I since have such difficulties and because of so few absences due to sick days I got such a connection, I was not able to come to me like quilting semester behind. Especially since they pretty much all my class and also in the evening the choreography rehearsed at times when I hold it unfortunately could not due to working hours, also because it was foreseeable that the class with the additional classes like dancing to me really and I had less of a chance afterwards to and come to catch up again.
So much for that evening I lay courses not needed .... Far from it! When almost die ganze Klasse den Laienunterricht besucht, dann tanzen sie Leistungsmäßig mir regelrecht davon, die Lehrer passen sich entsprechend an mit ihren Schwierigkeitsgraden mit den steigenden Leistungen der Schüler und gehen schneller die Schritte und wieder die nächsten Schritte und noch weiter die nächsten Schritte durch, und ich habe dann echt ein Problem hinterher zu kommen aufgrund dessen, das ich die Laienkurse nicht besuchen kann wegen den blöden Putzjob und auf die normalen Unterrichtsstunden Vormittags drauf angewiesen bin...
Tja... so ist das jetzt der Stand der Dinge - ich bin und bleibe wohl halt leider immer irgendwie ein "Spätzünder". Brauche somehow always a bit longer, more time, more maturity and understanding processes, and have to tread unfortunately now permanently a slightly longer time than usual so other way. But when it ignites in me then ... then properly and am on the fast track. Was always like that. This is probably just in my nature. I have to accept it so and accept that it is what it is. I just wish my mage would understand and understand my late starter mechanism and deal with, I am now even a little longer heavy with the term ...
One day I will be ready and I will with pleasure and an absolute willingness and Browsing can stand on stage and what I can. I'm looking forward to it! I know I can do it. I need only hold a bit longer until it has fired at me, until the switch has made in me "click" and I literally run by ......
Facilitated greetings
Aquajade
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